A lawyer who practices Third Amendment law. That’s right. That’s the amendment about quartering soldiers in your home.
BLB: Just what is the Third Amendment?
Scotch: I can quote it, if you want, it’s not that long. The Third Amendment provides that “No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.”
BLB: Sounds awful.
Scotch: Not really. It’s one of the more dynamic amendments, especially if you’ve studied it for some time, like I have.
BLB: But, how’s it apply? Give us some applications of the Third Amendment.
Scotch: Great question. Hypothetically, let’s say the military decides that its soldiers and armed personnel need to stay in your house, at no cost to the government. The Third Amendment prohibits that from happening, unless we are in a time of war.
BLB: Wow. All of them in my house?
BLB: But aren’t we in a war? A War on Terror. I think we’re at level Orange. Scary.
Scotch: Sure. Putting four or five colonels in your house is currently not per seunconstitutional. The U.S. could quarter soldiers in your house but the soldiers have to act mannerly if they do.
Mannerly, eh? Excuse me while I look up the legal definition of “mannerly” in my copy of Black’s…
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