This, from Namby Pamby, my favorite lawyer-with-a-nom-de-plume:
Caller: I fell and I want to talk to a lawyer about taking my case.
Me: You’re talking to a lawyer. Tell me what happened.
Caller: It was raining when I got out of my car. I closed the car door and I started walking when I slipped and fell in the parking lot.
Me: It was raining?
Me: And you slipped because it was wet?
Caller: Yes sir.
Me: Who exactly are you looking to sue? God?
Caller: No…no…no… I fell because it was raining and wet. In the parking lot. And I want to sue.